Anyways, the doctor finally came out and told me that they saw the mass that is causing blockage but that they need to do a full up colonoscopy the next day to get a better look at it and then there would be surgery the next day. That is when the doctor first said there is a chance it could be a cancerous tumor. I remember sitting on the hospital bed waiting for transport to take me back up fighting back tears at the reality of what he said. They gave me some water and tissues and it felt like forever till I could see Brad and get a hug. I finally got to the room and behind tears told Brad that there was a possibility of cancer. We gave ourselves a few minutes to take in the news and then knew we had to take our thoughts captive. That was something I knew I would fight for a while. I knew that I had to speak truth to myself instead of letting my mind run away with possibilities. We made plans for the boys the next day, Brad finally called his work and told them to take him off the schedule for Monday and maybe start finding a sub for him for the rest of the week, my parents were informed that things were looking a little more severe and there was lots of talks with our medical consultant, Brad's brother, who is a Radiology PA in Kansas. We also called our pastor, John, to bring us up some lunch so we could talk to him. We didn't want to tell many people what we were possibility looking at because we didn't want unnecessary worry or rumors to spread. We did mention it to John and remember all of us fighting back tears. We were so comforted by John reminding of us of the Gospel and the love of God for us even in this trial.
Later that afternoon, I began having some more stomach pain. It was very similar to the pain that brought me to the ER. I was able to get some medicine that put me out. I don't remember too much else about that night, I was really out of it. I do remember trying to drink the stuff for the colonoscopy and throwing up later. Brad had to go get the boys so some good friends got to deal with me. The original plan was for Brad to again stay home with the boys but when I woke up in the middle of the night him and Gavin were in the room. He wanted to be there if I got the pain again or needed anything in the middle of the night. I had great nurses but they weren't always the quickest to respond to the call button.
Monday morning Brad went home to get the boys to different friends for the day. We eventually split up the boys so they wouldn't be such a burden on our friends. I don't remember much about the colonoscopy. I did have a pepsi-cola enema (that's not a joke) that morning and was proud of myself for holding it in longer. I also remember going down to the prep room and a baby crying. Not sure what was going on but it didn't help the nerves. After the colonoscopy our doctor came to our room and confirmed what they were suspecting. I had, what appeared to be, a cancerous tumor in my large intestine and would go into surgery the next morning. Again, things were a blur after that...my parents were called and they would head down later that day. A case worker from the hospital stopped by to see who needed notes for excused absences from work, friends brought lunch for Brad and we spent a lot of time in the word, meditating on the promises of God and taking comfort in that. Our pastor and Strohmeyers stopped by that night and I remember them praying for me. That happened a lot that weekend, groups of people circled around me praying. My parents got in late that night and Brad was able to be with me without worrying about Gavin in the room. We were able to get a good night sleep before the surgery the next day.
|After a couple naps laying on the chair, they brought in a bed for Gavin. He's grown a little since birth!|